[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Thirty Nine]
I’ve ripped myself out of bed at five for the past two mornings and while it used to be something that I thoroughly enjoyed – even RELISHED – now I just feel like throwing up.
For two days now.
Not Cool, Leander.
But first the news:
- Amsterdam school shuts for 10 days after staff test positive for corona
- Coronavirus figures tick up again to hit 5,658; Covid patient total down 3%
- Relaxing coronavirus measures: Has the Netherlands passed the peak?
I wrote about WHY I get up at five a.m. the other day and in preparation for re-establishing this habit, I printed out the second half of the post.
I read it at the end of my day here in the office. And at the beginning of my day when I get up at five.
I still feel like throwing up.
I’ve felt like this in the mornings before – when I was pregnant – but also whenever I haven’t had enough sleep or when I haven’t eaten enough the night before or when I’m sick.
So maybe I’m sick? Or am not getting enough sleep? I’m eating the same.
And I’m NOT pregnant.
Last night I went to bed a little bit earlier because yesterday was ROUGH. And this morning I nibbled on some crackers before coming out to the office. But, still, I wonder if I’m listening well enough to the message my body is trying to send.
me: WE’RE GETTING UP AT FIIIIIVE!! !
me: Look how DARK it is outside! WHEEEE!! !
body: Like death.
me: The house is so QUIET!! !
body: Like a coffin.
me: Getting up at five feels like a SUPERPOWER! Look how much I get DONE!! !
body: Eat shit and die.
Oke, so I’m going to go to bed even earlier tonight, poor body, and we’ll see what tomorrow brings. I *may* be sick, though. And that’s not going to change with more sleep. In which case, I’ll pause for a few days and try again.
Because “No Pain, No Gain” may be the path for some people, but I am not that person.
I’m listening, Body.
I hear you.
I see you.
It’ll be okay.