I Seriously Cannot WAIT To Get THERE

Dear Ifat:

I suppose that I should make an introduction of you before simply sending you a blog post, but THAT’S HOW I ROLL. To cut through introductions, I’ll just link to your personal trainer website. And can I also totally recommend a makeover on that thing? Like, the content is solid, but let’s get rid of all the adobe flash, yeah? Also, I take back what I said about the content – it’s static. You NEED a blog on there. AND your latest social media content COUGH INSTAGRAM COUGH displayed on the home page.

And can we talk about how there are NONE pictures of me on there?

Pfffft.

But, of course, you know exactly what I’m doing right now.

I’m procrastinating.

Yes, I packed for the gym today. Yes, I’m going to go to the gym. Yes, here’s what I plan on doing.

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No Headaches, Yet, But

When at home, we speak English, but in public, as much as possible, I try to speak Dutch which just means that I’m damn good at ordering a cup of coffee and buying my train ticket at the kiosk – when I travel the use of Dutch explodes quite a bit between the hotel / commute / airport.

When we first moved to the Netherlands seven years ago I used to get headaches because my brain would try to serve up Japanese as my second language instead of going straight to Dutch. Every time I’d try to practice, my brain would translate Dutch to Japanese to English and back again.

For about six months.

One day I woke up and the Japanese was gone.

Like, GONE gone.

Whenever I’d try to think of some common phrase, my brain gave me Dutch.

FINE.

But then we had kids and I really want them to be familiar with some Japanese, so I started re-learning via Duolingo. And also, because my partner and our three children are Swedish, I thought now would be a great time to fold in Swedish as well.

So every day I complete at least one module of all three languages within the app, never imagining there would be a situation when I used more than two languages within a short period of time.

And then.

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What Day Is It, Anyway?

Tuesday, THURSDAY, Leander.

Not Tuesday, Whenever The Fuck You Get Around To It.

But sometimes we miss a deadline and it’s shockingly not the end of the world, eh?

This is one of those moments.

I’ve managed this morning schedule for a few weeks now:

Up at 06:45, make two bottles, prop the twins, set up the four year old, S, with filmpjes, brush teeth, shower, and dress myself in three point four two seconds, dress S and get him downstairs eating breakfast, grab a twin, dress them and buckle them into a carseat with a cookie, repeat with the second twin, make S’ lunch, pack his backpack, get shoes and coats on everyone, and pile into the car.

S and I get dropped off at school – P takes the twins to daycare and continues with his day – I trick S into embracing his fate and then walk to a local cafe for breakfast, entirely too much caffeine and a couple of hours of writing.

And THEN?

THE PERFECT WORLD.

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Navigating the Rush Hour

Back in the States, ‘rush hour’ refers to one of my favourite Jackie Chan movies as well as the hell that is a morning and evening commute to and from work made only slightly less miserable by the sweet soothing sounds of NPR while here in the Netherlands, rush hour TRAFFIC is so lame that you’re never actually STOPPED on the highway AT ALL.

Even if there’s a giant flaming bus by the side of the road and all cars are diverted to side roads.

Strangely specific example is strangely specific.

And also?

Los Angeles California and Atlanta Georgia COMPETE for Worse Traffic In The States and not only did I used to live and WORK in Atlanta, but I once had to change a flat tire on a Dodge Dakota Club Cab on the bottom highway of Spaghetti Junction DURING RUSH HOUR.

But in the Netherlands?

Rush hour ALSO refers to the chaos of the morning and the evening that exists when One Has Children.

And YESSSSS it is Exactly That Bad.

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How To Pass The Torch Without Dropping All The Balls

Spoiler Alert: communication is key.

I’m putting together an abstract with a couple of fellow #DevRel liaisons on how we managed to pass (and drop!) responsibility of an open source community. We’ll submit to a couple of upcoming conferences over the next year and see what happens.

Cause you never know until you try.

We’ll talk about the exact tips and tricks we used to get the knowledge WRITTEN DOWN. What’s one thing we learned from each other. What’s one thing we totally dropped the ball on – D’OH!

And a bunch of other brilliant things.

To My Fellow Collaborators,

I’m excited to live with you. And laugh with you.

To cry with you.

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