Big Breath In. Big Breath Out. Repeat.

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

I’m halfway out the door already today with one full day of work left before I’m “off” for the next two weeks.

Cause grandma.

Frak.

TL;DR my mother’s mother is on home hospice. My daughter is named after her. So I’m grabbing girl twin and running to the States to introduce them and say goodbye.

I’m still… finding it… difficult to think about?

One of my earliest memories is attending my great grandmother’s funeral and seeing my mom cry.

I was thoroughly confused.

But now MY grandmother is in hospice and I am….

I’m still in shock.

Continue reading “Big Breath In. Big Breath Out. Repeat.”

And I’m Still A Bit Sick, If I’m Honest

So I’m totally back publishing this post to Tuesday, cause, DAMNIT, I was sick.

And not just me – the entire family – all five of us – has a cold that’s just enough that on Monday after I went to the gym, I was literally falling down dizzy.

And just enough that Girl Twin can’t sleep through the night. Just enough that Boy Twin has ELEVENS.

Just enough that P is snoring All Night Long.

Just enough that S is also getting up in the night, but he has a big boy bed and can just get up and walk into our room and talk.

Multiple times.

Throughout the night.

Continue reading “And I’m Still A Bit Sick, If I’m Honest”

Gather Round, Kiddies – Mama Has A BedTime Story

Once upon a time Papa had a wonderful opportunity to work in the Netherlands and Mama could work from anywhere in the world, so the Leander Family moved to Groningen where they were very happy and while they couldn’t fly home for Xmas, they found a new tradition of flying down to a very warm island and that suited them just fine.

Wait.

Too far.

Lemme start over.

Once upon a time there was a Swedish papa and an American mama who lived in the Netherlands and had a wise brave boy, S, and a pair of twins, L and G.

Every December, the Dutch welcomed SinterKlaas and his helpful Pieten. Sint, as he was known by his friends, would come early in the month, bringing toys to the good girls and boys and any child who was bad would be kidnapped by the Pieten, thrown in their bags and taken to Spain where Sint and the Pieten lived the rest of the year.

But!

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What Day Is It, Anyway?

Tuesday, THURSDAY, Leander.

Not Tuesday, Whenever The Fuck You Get Around To It.

But sometimes we miss a deadline and it’s shockingly not the end of the world, eh?

This is one of those moments.

I’ve managed this morning schedule for a few weeks now:

Up at 06:45, make two bottles, prop the twins, set up the four year old, S, with filmpjes, brush teeth, shower, and dress myself in three point four two seconds, dress S and get him downstairs eating breakfast, grab a twin, dress them and buckle them into a carseat with a cookie, repeat with the second twin, make S’ lunch, pack his backpack, get shoes and coats on everyone, and pile into the car.

S and I get dropped off at school – P takes the twins to daycare and continues with his day – I trick S into embracing his fate and then walk to a local cafe for breakfast, entirely too much caffeine and a couple of hours of writing.

And THEN?

THE PERFECT WORLD.

Continue reading “What Day Is It, Anyway?”

Navigating the Rush Hour

Back in the States, ‘rush hour’ refers to one of my favourite Jackie Chan movies as well as the hell that is a morning and evening commute to and from work made only slightly less miserable by the sweet soothing sounds of NPR while here in the Netherlands, rush hour TRAFFIC is so lame that you’re never actually STOPPED on the highway AT ALL.

Even if there’s a giant flaming bus by the side of the road and all cars are diverted to side roads.

Strangely specific example is strangely specific.

And also?

Los Angeles California and Atlanta Georgia COMPETE for Worse Traffic In The States and not only did I used to live and WORK in Atlanta, but I once had to change a flat tire on a Dodge Dakota Club Cab on the bottom highway of Spaghetti Junction DURING RUSH HOUR.

But in the Netherlands?

Rush hour ALSO refers to the chaos of the morning and the evening that exists when One Has Children.

And YESSSSS it is Exactly That Bad.

Continue reading “Navigating the Rush Hour”