Dutch Lock Down Day One Hundred

[Today Was SO Much Better]

Photo by Shane on Unsplash

TOTALLY went to bed angry last night and woke up angry and got the kids off to their respective locations angry, but then we had to drive forty five minutes each way to take the car to the dealership to remove a couple of rocks from a wheel.

And despite my best efforts we had a constructive healthy conversation.

But first the news:

I’ve been going doing downhill for the past few days, but I couldn’t figure out why. Then yesterday morning boy twin wanted to wear a dress.

And I let him.

And P freaked out because he was worried about BoyTwin’s safety.

And I pushed back because it’s the Netherlands and he’d only be at daycare and it’s his choice.

We had a MASSIVE fight.

And it sort of resolved, but we still went to bed angry last night.

And then….

The car had an appointment in Leeuwarden so I went along and we talked it out more and I realized that I was Not Doing Well because I felt ignored for weeks now. AND my fluoxetine prescription ran out ten days ago. AND I started my period yesterday.

AND all the things built up and the dress was just a final trigger.

Fair warning: I’m going to talk about my period.

Oops: Too late.

#SorryNotSorry

We talked it out.

We totally get how the other one feels about gender roles and the kids and safety and choices and can you imagine if we lived in the States?

#NOPE

Life is hard enough when you don’t easily fit into a culture’s definition of normal. Then when that same culture condemns Not Normal ™ with aggression, hatred, and death?

#FuckThatShit

I understand his fear.
He understands my choices.
We understand one another.

We understand that we love each other and our children and safety and freedom.

And I’m doing so much better now.

Because this, too, has passed.