Last year I talked about Leveraging Procedural Knowledge and he was in the audience. One of my points was that you must put aside time to code every month, every week, every day, so that the knowledge becomes procedural.
And he asked, but what if I have a newborn and work full time and no free time whatsoever.
My response was something like, “Do it anyway. If you want it, you’ll make time.”
AND HE DID.
This was the introduction to my talk and THAT plus smoothing out some wrinkles with the slides earlier in the week means I was a cocky bastard for Friday’s talk.
And take questions.
And the only question I remember is, “Great talk, but where was the python?”
And instantly I was on the defense. I said something along the lines of ‘95% of the OpenStack project is written in python.’ and then something about the conference being about python AND FRIENDS and something about diving into the code not making sense in the context of introducing someone to python.
So I left PyGrunn 2016 with a sour taste, feeling like I totally failed, and wondering if I should quit my job and go hide under a rock.
THIS IS PTSD.
This is depression. And illness. And reactionary.
And I know, on a logical level, that I need to be talking to someone – diving into cognitive behavioral therapy or exposure therapy or EMDR, but ALSO ON A LOGICAL LEVEL, I just finished a two week conference circuit YESTERDAY.
I’m not ready. Yet.
But I will be.