Maybe I’m Not Listening To My Introvert Self Enough

I’m tired.

Well and truly exhausted, actually.

I got enough sleep last night. And managed to work a bit this morning, although nothing to brag about. And then I gave an Elevator Pitch workshop via Toastmasters Groningen and Connect International.

That sounds WAY more impressive than it feels upon reflection.

Have I mentioned how tired I am?

I might not make any sense right now.

I do humbly reserve the right to delete the fuck out of this post in the morning after I’ve gotten six meager hours of sleep because #TWINS like to get up at six.

Cause #GotMilk

In the meantime, the point is, that I’m exhausted. And maybe it’s because I’ve been so totally social when I’m NORMALLY so totally not – I mean, don’t get me wrong, you may totally think I’m an extrovert cause I’m a BRILLIANT actress, but the reality is that I draw energy from being ALONE.

At a certain point in high school I realized that no matter how you act, people treat you based on their first impression of you. I even did a psychological (unscientific) experiment. When I switched schools just before the eleventh grade, for one week, I dressed brightly, smiled constantly, and talked to EVERYONE.

That weekend, I slept the ENTIRE two days.

And after that I dressed however I wanted and smiled to whom I wanted and spoke when I wanted which was JUST AS BRIGHTLY, not quite as much, and minimally.

And my classmates still think of me as an extrovert even though they knew me for two more years.

#WOAH

But.

Even though I’m good on stage and in public and all that jazz, I still need down time and ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW I need to #hermit and #CrawlUnderTheRock and #NEST – like, seriously.

So, no, I won’t be attending Toastmasters Zwolle this upcoming Monday.

But I’ll still totally be running that race.

Cause with headphones in and no running partners, you run alone.

I’m totally deleting this tomorrow.