The partner went out for a cup of sugar.
Three hours ago.
May never see him again.
Girl twin has thrown a coup against her older brother and now rules the house under her tiny thumb with Barbapapa playing #AllTheTime and #AbsolutelyNoBroccoli MAMA.
Boy twin refuses to NOT splash in the tub no matter how much you threaten nor how many of those ‘consequences’ show up. He calls our bluff and turns the entire bathroom into a sauna.
The cat has entirely taken over the top floor of the house, demanding coffee beans and throwing her shit down the stairs, screaming that it’ll sell for millions. MILLIONS, I TELL YOU.
No, but seriously, these have been the longest two days OF MY LIFE.
Continue reading “Dutch Lock Down Day Two”
I haven’t seen my partner in seventeen hours. I think the natives voted him off the island. Or ate him.
The five year old seems to have enlisted the two year olds into his army.
The cat insists none of this is real.
She might be right.
No, but seriously.
Today was basically shit with highlights of winning.
Continue reading “Dutch Lock Down Day One”
There are a few caveats I need to make before I share all these points – I’m an expat. So is my partner. Dutch is not our first language. We don’t have any inside information except that we LIVE HERE.
Some of these points are media based. Some are via via. Some are personal. Take everything with a grain of salt. Or some other idiom.
We have three kids, one school aged and two in full time daycare. I work for an American based company while my partner works for the local university which is considered a government entity.
Big breath in.
Big breath out.
Let’s do this, eh?
1. The government met this afternoon and decided to close schools, daycares, and a ton of other public spaces as of tomorrow until 06 April.
2. Daycares ARE available for EMERGENCY CARE – these are for children who have parents who BOTH work in the “vital sectors”.
3. Vital sectors those professions and sectors defined by The National Coordinator for Terrorism Coordinator (NCTV) as healthcare, public transport, police, fire fighters, and childcare workers.
4. A ton of other public spaces include cafes, restaurants, sex clubs, cannabis cafes (also known as coffee shops), saunas and sports clubs as of today at six p.m. This was announced at three this afternoon – can you imagine the rush on the coffee shops?!?
Continue reading “The Latest Nineteen From The Netherlands”
I just figured something out.
I’m slow sometimes.
At a certain time, people started scolding me whenever I would shake their hands, but they would scold me with a dash of embarrassment and humour.
The Dutch Prime Minister… announced no more shaking hands. And then shook hands. And then laughed about it. And then touched the health worker. MORE. And then walked off screen with his ARM AROUND HIS NECK.
So that’s where we are now.
Continue reading “What is Your Armageddon Agenda?”
A friend in America (hi, J!) asked me, “Are you all worried over there about the virus, or is this the start of the panic? It’s ramping up here.”
Quick context: she asked me this DAYS ago. This was my response. DAYS ago. I was writing this up at a cafe this morning and then I was …distracted.
Until a few days ago, people were mostly joking about it. But policies have changed. People don’t shake hands in public anymore. I’ve been scolded three times.
The Dutch are used to shaking hands with strangers and greet people they know with three kisses.
I keep hugging friends.
Cause I’m an idiot.
It seemed like the Dutch were TOO chill about it for a while.
For example, the Netherlands didn’t have ANY known cases because that’s the cultural norm – if you’re sick in any way, you take paracetamol and wait at least ten days for symptoms to pass. THEN you go to the doctor.
But then a local Groningen frat house went on vacation to a ski resort in Northern Italy.
The reports of active cases came out before their trip and they still went.
While they were gone enough people complained that the government stepped in and… gave them instructions on how to social quarantine when they returned.
Force them to stay in Italy? NO, that’s not the Dutch way.
Force them to quarantine upon return? No, that would invade their personal freedom.
Continue reading “This Was Going To Be The Post And Then I Got An Ocular Migraine Instead”