some things happened after i wrote [trigger warning] “I woke up in the tub”.
one, the hits / visitors / stats went through the roof. higher than i’ve ever seen, one day there were over five hundred hits. when the average before was around ten.
two, people sent their support in the form of email, calls, private messages, comments, and such. it was overwhelming and beautiful and amazing and i wanted it to never end.
but also, i felt an incredible pressure to leap forward and write the rest of the story. and simultaneously, what if the rest of the story isn’t as engaging? or what if i say something that turns people against me? or what if i can’t find the words?
so i’m giving myself permission to stop writing.
not stop writing on groningenrain.nl – i think a daily attack of the somethings is needed to push through that habit of writer’s block, but permission to stop writing about the trauma and the reverberations.
besides the incredible pressure [and doubts that follow] writing about the trauma, i am heading off to red hat summit in a few days to talk about tripleo.
and i received some pretty harsh criticism after the last time i gave the talk, so i need to respond to that and up my game. or, at least, do something along the lines of a demonstration.
even if that demonstration fails.
in front of lots of people.
which is the point.
i need to relieve some pressure.
and since work is looming, i’m going to focus on that for a few days. yes, i realize that means a lot of you will drift away because technology isn’t your jam, but i hope you’ll check back in a bit because i will get back to that story.