Adventures in Pregnancy: The Spaghetti Squashes

I know, I know, I’ve been gone forevers.

And a day.

I’d gotten into this self preservation habit of just taking care of myself which included not posting / hiding under a rock / sleeping a bit more than pregnancy requires bordering on depressiveness, but I kept posting these weekly pictures of the bump and hoped it would be enough.

Thankfully, many of you kept reaching under the rock and asking how I was doing.

Thank you.

So let’s get you caught up, shall we?

“No, there is too much. Let me sum up.”

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Adventures in Pregnancy : The Glass Apples

Today is a marvelous one because P and I have been married fifteen years. And the twins are fifteen weeks.

Is this serendipity?

What does serendipity mean?

Please hold.

*looks it up*

Eh. Close enough.

The traditional gift for fifteen years (holy shit, fifteen years!) is crystal. But we’re having twins, people; we need to start acting like it and STOP SPENDING MONEY.

That scolding was more for me than P.

Okay, entirely for me.

But the modern gift is glass. And since the twins are at fifteen weeks which is, apparently, apple sized, Glass Apples.

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An Eleven Week Update Cause REASONS

First, let’s take a minute to review how highly improbable this pregnancy IS.

We’re in shock.

But also ecstatic.

I’m in a very odd place because, yes, Pontus and I had a long conversation about how many children years ago – TWO – because he had a miserable time as the middle child.

And while I would’ve been fine with one, Pontus felt strongly that siblings were vital.

And once I had Sasha, I wanted another one immediately.

So Two!

But when I was a child and I imagined having children, I imagined that I wanted to have one pregnancy with twins – a boy and a girl.

It was a very specific idea and one completely not based in reality because twins don’t run in our family at all.

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Highly Improbable != Impossible

First, it’s important to have context.

Did you read this article about how I have craptastic eggs?

Let me sum up:

When my partner and I decided to have children, we decided to have two children. One at a time. We removed the birth control and were instantly pregnant. We have since found out that the chances of this happening are as low as five percent.

The original plan was have a child, when the child is eighteen months old, make another one.

It hasn’t worked out that way.

Now I know what you’re thinking and the answer is …

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I’m Competing Next Saturday In A Speech Contest

whenever i start working on this particular speech. this speech that i’m doing for a series of contests. this speech that won THAT club contest and that may or may not win the next level of the toastmasters international speech contests, my stomach starts flipping.

the fuck.

OUT.

one of the things that happened while i was competing, in both the international speech AND the evaluator contests, is that i was flipping. the fuck. OUT. and that meant that my stomach was doing that butterfly thing. and that i was sweating ALL OVER. and i found it very difficult to focus. at all. i was shaking almost the ENTIRE NIGHT. even after awards were given and representation confirmed, i was high for hours. and then i crashed for DAYS. because this contest? well, it was similar to how i felt when i used to audition ALL THE TIME. back when i danced.

y’know, professionally.

not with a pole so much as scraping by in that weird modern contemporary way with lots of white make up and silky kimonos and excruciatingly slow movement. there were some auditions that were more stressful and somehow OVERWHELMING then others.

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And How Many Tech Talks? And Conferences? And ATC CODES?!?

Way back in may 2015, I did my first tech talks evar at [PyGrunn] and [DjangoCon US] “Leveraging Procedural Knowledge”

TWO talks and TWO conferences!

And then I switched jobs within Red Hat to join engineering, where I am now a Developer Evangelist which means I code AND talk. Which is what #ALLTHETALKS have been for ever since…

Except, no, I’m just now remembering one other.

And, wait, another.

So I’ve been doing MOSTLY TripleO things, but also other things.

You’ll see.

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The Thing About Last Minute Work Travels Is That

60wxqtz8iq8-jeff-fielitzNothing gets done except aforementioned last minute work travels.

Hence the flight is purchased and the Amsterdam and Salt Lake City hotels are booked and airbnb room requested and packing list finished.

BUT.

That TripleO cheat sheet?

The new TripleO GUI OverCloud Deployment Instructions?

Expense reports and debriefing reports from OpenStack Barcelona and Grace Hopper Celebration?

All those things I need to do for Toastmasters Groningen?

BWAHAHAHAHA nope.

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