Highly Improbable != Impossible

First, it’s important to have context.

Did you read this article about how I have craptastic eggs?

Let me sum up:

When my partner and I decided to have children, we decided to have two children. One at a time. We removed the birth control and were instantly pregnant. We have since found out that the chances of this happening are as low as five percent.

The original plan was have a child, when the child is eighteen months old, make another one.

It hasn’t worked out that way.

Now I know what you’re thinking and the answer is …

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I’m Competing Next Saturday In A Speech Contest

whenever i start working on this particular speech. this speech that i’m doing for a series of contests. this speech that won THAT club contest and that may or may not win the next level of the toastmasters international speech contests, my stomach starts flipping.

the fuck.


one of the things that happened while i was competing, in both the international speech AND the evaluator contests, is that i was flipping. the fuck. OUT. and that meant that my stomach was doing that butterfly thing. and that i was sweating ALL OVER. and i found it very difficult to focus. at all. i was shaking almost the ENTIRE NIGHT. even after awards were given and representation confirmed, i was high for hours. and then i crashed for DAYS. because this contest? well, it was similar to how i felt when i used to audition ALL THE TIME. back when i danced.

y’know, professionally.

not with a pole so much as scraping by in that weird modern contemporary way with lots of white make up and silky kimonos and excruciatingly slow movement. there were some auditions that were more stressful and somehow OVERWHELMING then others.

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And How Many Tech Talks? And Conferences? And ATC CODES?!?

Way back in may 2015, I did my first tech talks evar at [PyGrunn] and [DjangoCon US] “Leveraging Procedural Knowledge”

TWO talks and TWO conferences!

And then I switched jobs within Red Hat to join engineering, where I am now a Developer Evangelist which means I code AND talk. Which is what #ALLTHETALKS have been for ever since…

Except, no, I’m just now remembering one other.

And, wait, another.

So I’ve been doing MOSTLY TripleO things, but also other things.

You’ll see.

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The Thing About Last Minute Work Travels Is That

60wxqtz8iq8-jeff-fielitzNothing gets done except aforementioned last minute work travels.

Hence the flight is purchased and the Amsterdam and Salt Lake City hotels are booked and airbnb room requested and packing list finished.


That TripleO cheat sheet?

The new TripleO GUI OverCloud Deployment Instructions?

Expense reports and debriefing reports from OpenStack Barcelona and Grace Hopper Celebration?

All those things I need to do for Toastmasters Groningen?


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I Have Tried Writing This Post For Days And

the_openstack_logo-svg-1It’s still not shaping up correctly, so I’m going to go old style which is to say that I’m going to write exactly what I’m thinking, or not exactly, but something close.

Something stream of consciousness ish.


Don’t judge.

Remember that time when I said:

But then an invitation comes along and you get all giddy cause it comes along because of a year’s worth of work and I know, I’m being vague, and I promise to post details if it all works out…

Normally when I go speak at conferences it’s because I’ve applied months in advance and been accepted and sent the budget up the management chain and received approval and arranged travel and written an abstract and practiced the demo and tested and practiced and planned.



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And Now For Some BIG! NEWS!

15170904_10102591044503091_3380539265152543213_nThe WHOLE FAMILY is going to live in the STATES for the ENTIRE MONTH OF JANUARY 2017!

That’s right!

Pontus landed a visiting fellow grant to work at Duke University. We were able to pause the AI’s daycare government stipend, withdraw him from Dutch daycare and enroll him in American daycare. We found a kickass house / cat sitter to stay at our house for six weeks.




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Favorite. Picture. EVAR.

dsc_6308I don’t really like pictures of myself, not immediately, probably because my perception of myself and the reality are so different and even as I write this my brain is translating things into Dutch.

Off track, I know.

A lot of things are going on right now including recovering from influenza and, cause life isn’t complicated enough, A FOLLOW UP viral infection with coughs that could wake the dead, or, in actually, wake the AI asleep in his own room.

And then he catches it, too, so that’s awesome.

Just. Fucking. AWESOME.

But then an invitation comes along and you get all giddy cause it comes along because of a year’s worth of work and I know, I’m being vague, and I promise to post details if it all works out, but then they ask you for a picture and …BLARGH.


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