And Now For A Fitness Update!

Photo by chuttersnap 
on Unsplash

I know, I know, I wrote all those secrets and now I’m talking cardio?

WTF, Leander.

But, see, this is on my mind, TOO, y’all.

Since I killed my back, when I’m at home, I hit the gym every single day for at least ten minutes of cardio.

Why ten minutes?

Ten minutes is the warm up I do before strength training. On Tuesdays and Fridays. If I’m not doing that, I do FORTY FIVE MINUTES of CARDIO.

If you KNOW me, you totally know I’m not a cardio girl. Nothing wrong with cardio girls, I just get bored way way too easily and my brain is way way too mean when it gets bored.

And you know what motivates me when I run around outside? Running fast enough that no one’s staring at my ass for too long.

That’s not motivation, that’s terror.

Which, sure, is its own motivation, but that’s not HEALTHY.

And we’re making healthy choices here, damnit.

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I Seriously Cannot WAIT To Get THERE

Dear Ifat:

I suppose that I should make an introduction of you before simply sending you a blog post, but THAT’S HOW I ROLL. To cut through introductions, I’ll just link to your personal trainer website. And can I also totally recommend a makeover on that thing? Like, the content is solid, but let’s get rid of all the adobe flash, yeah? Also, I take back what I said about the content – it’s static. You NEED a blog on there. AND your latest social media content COUGH INSTAGRAM COUGH displayed on the home page.

And can we talk about how there are NONE pictures of me on there?

Pfffft.

But, of course, you know exactly what I’m doing right now.

I’m procrastinating.

Yes, I packed for the gym today. Yes, I’m going to go to the gym. Yes, here’s what I plan on doing.

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Navigating the Rush Hour

Back in the States, ‘rush hour’ refers to one of my favourite Jackie Chan movies as well as the hell that is a morning and evening commute to and from work made only slightly less miserable by the sweet soothing sounds of NPR while here in the Netherlands, rush hour TRAFFIC is so lame that you’re never actually STOPPED on the highway AT ALL.

Even if there’s a giant flaming bus by the side of the road and all cars are diverted to side roads.

Strangely specific example is strangely specific.

And also?

Los Angeles California and Atlanta Georgia COMPETE for Worse Traffic In The States and not only did I used to live and WORK in Atlanta, but I once had to change a flat tire on a Dodge Dakota Club Cab on the bottom highway of Spaghetti Junction DURING RUSH HOUR.

But in the Netherlands?

Rush hour ALSO refers to the chaos of the morning and the evening that exists when One Has Children.

And YESSSSS it is Exactly That Bad.

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Put On Your Shoes

So there’s this song, see.

For toddlers.

About getting ready and going outside.

And PROS.alpha likes it.

A lot.

I’ll let you go ahead and imagine how many times we’ve seen it, but first, of course, because I love, I’m gonna go ahead and share it with you.

CAUSE I LOVE

Guess how many times I’ve heard this song.

GUESS

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