Please Be Healthy Please Be Fine

I will update this post as more information arrives. Timestamps are military UTC+2.

0900 : Woke up. Set the ringer on the phone to loud. Puked in the shower. Ate a bagel and cream cheese. Helped PROS.alpha get to daycare. Read.

1045 : Went to POP Poli Clinic Psychiatrist appointment. Cried a bit. She told me I seem much stronger than two years ago when she saw me last.

1145 : Ate P’s lunch.

1245 : Still waiting for results from Tuesday.

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Adventures in Pregnancy : The Lemons

I’m still (THANKFULLY) riding the high that is completing a second advanced manual and earning the Toastmasters Advanced Communicator Bronze award last night.

To be clear, I was crap.

Pale. Stiff. Sweating. Lots of uhms and ahs and unconscious pacing.

In true tech fashion, I was slapping the slides together seconds before the meeting started.

But.

It’s done! And filed! And hopefully the point will be awarded to our club in time to earn the Presidential’s Distinguished Club award.

I know. I know. You want to hear about the pregnancy.

FINE.

Let’s talk about pregnancy and vomit and blood and piss. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

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The Edibles: Removing Illness Stigma Through Open Source

Tonight I’m giving the fifth project in the Technical Presentations advanced manual at Toastmasters Groningen. This is also the tenth project to achieve the Advanced Communicator Bronze which will also give a point to the club for the year and allow us to achieve the President’s Distinguished Club award.

I’m super stoked.

But.

I’m also going through some rough shit right now which means I’m embracing what’s happening and doing a very technical speech about current events. It could turn out boring and pedantic and emotional. Or interesting and brilliant. Or something.

These are the notes.

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Adventures in Pregnancy : Tests on the Pea Pods

We’re doing the big tests now. The ones that involve multiple needles, no moving, meditative breathing, and going to your happy place.

There are also massive words like amniocentesis and comparative genomic hybridization (CGH) which is overwhelming, yes, but also calming because knowledge is power.

And the unknown is terrifying.

At the appointment this morning, the doctor (and two students) used sonogram to analyze the hell out of fetus one (the one with the thicker nuchal fold that MAY indicate any number of chromosomal abnormalities.

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Adventures In Pregnancy : The Pea Pods

Still disturbed by the edibles.

Apparently they’re approximately the length of a pea pod at thirteen weeks.

I was incredibly vague for that twelve week update, so I thought I’d go into details now.

In a minute.

Plus we received more information and I COMPLETELY LOST MY MIND.

There was howling.

There was vomiting.

There was much snot.

And there was a difficult talk between P and I that Really Needed To Happen ™ and based on how much better I felt the next day, I needed that crying vomitous release and / or that difficult talk.

Probably both.

I still feel Really Intense. Terrified. Worried.

But Better.

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An Eleven Week Update Cause REASONS

First, let’s take a minute to review how highly improbable this pregnancy IS.

We’re in shock.

But also ecstatic.

I’m in a very odd place because, yes, Pontus and I had a long conversation about how many children years ago – TWO – because he had a miserable time as the middle child.

And while I would’ve been fine with one, Pontus felt strongly that siblings were vital.

And once I had Sasha, I wanted another one immediately.

So Two!

But when I was a child and I imagined having children, I imagined that I wanted to have one pregnancy with twins – a boy and a girl.

It was a very specific idea and one completely not based in reality because twins don’t run in our family at all.

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Highly Improbable != Impossible

First, it’s important to have context.

Did you read this article about how I have craptastic eggs?

Let me sum up:

When my partner and I decided to have children, we decided to have two children. One at a time. We removed the birth control and were instantly pregnant. We have since found out that the chances of this happening are as low as five percent.

The original plan was have a child, when the child is eighteen months old, make another one.

It hasn’t worked out that way.

Now I know what you’re thinking and the answer is …

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Eye Hope That Is All

Just finished with the (multiple) eye doctors.

The relaxed eye (turns out it is only the right eye, not the left) is only turning out slightly (-1 as opposed to -50) and they suspect that my eyes are freaking out because the glasses prescription is slightly off (it used to be -2.50 – now it’s -2.00).

After 40ish it is normal for the eyes to stop being able to compensate for a slightly wrong prescription.

So the next step is go back and get correct glasses and see if the symptoms go away.

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