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And Now For A Fitness Update!

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on Unsplash

I know, I know, I wrote all those secrets and now I’m talking cardio?

WTF, Leander.

But, see, this is on my mind, TOO, y’all.

Since I killed my back, when I’m at home, I hit the gym every single day for at least ten minutes of cardio.

Why ten minutes?

Ten minutes is the warm up I do before strength training. On Tuesdays and Fridays. If I’m not doing that, I do FORTY FIVE MINUTES of CARDIO.

If you KNOW me, you totally know I’m not a cardio girl. Nothing wrong with cardio girls, I just get bored way way too easily and my brain is way way too mean when it gets bored.

And you know what motivates me when I run around outside? Running fast enough that no one’s staring at my ass for too long.

That’s not motivation, that’s terror.

Which, sure, is its own motivation, but that’s not HEALTHY.

And we’re making healthy choices here, damnit.

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Workin’ NINE to FIVE. What A Way To Make A Livin’!

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Let’s just dive straight into the last one, shall we?

After a quick tea break, damnit.

That’ll probably turn into a chocolate break. And a walk around a bit cause the back likes it. And board the plane break. And get to the AirBNB. And eat dinner. And find any number of other distractions so I don’t actually do this until a month from now, hm?

But #DamnitTeaBreak

Except.

I’m not willing to wait a month.

I wrote a version of this story that’s full of anger and vitriole and blame and emotion and sent it to a few close friends, to my partner.

It helped.

Part of why I’m writing these stories – these three secrets – is because I’m dealing with this anger that is so high that I feel like the Hulk and just getting this third story out of my head and only the screen – read by a very few close friends who don’t really care what it says, who don’t necessarily even have to respond – this helps alleviate the constant pressure.

But.

Another part of me definitely wants to get this third secret out as well.

Published.

Public.

But first, #CONTEXT

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That’s My Secret, Cap. I’m Always Angry.

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TRIGGER WARNING This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

After that last post, going through security and passport control, and walking ten forevers to get to the gate, I’ve had a low grade fever without the exhaustion. Which tells me I’m having a hot flash. One of the longer lasting ones, sure, but still a hot flash.

Before I can find another excuse to procrastinate, I’m going to dive into the next secret.

I’m the Hulk.

Angry.

All the time.

Sure, there’s a lot to be angry about. And, let me clarify, for this one? I’m not going stream of consciousness. Cause there’d be a lot more cursing. And all caps. And throwing laptops off of buildings.

Big breath in. Big breath out.

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Guess Who’s Back! Back AGAIN!

Photo by Romina Farías on Unsplash

I’m on the train now.

Procrastinating.

First of all, sleep was poor. Really poor.

Maybe because I knew I was travelling today. Maybe because I knew I was writing today. Maybe because I drank too much water before bed. Maybe because our cat decided four this morning was a great time to give my partner a FULL BATH with her #VeryScratchyCatTongue

I also thought I’d have more food in my belly before I got to this point in the travel but the kids really wanted to cuddle this morning and I wanted to make sure the partner got a shower so I missed more of a breakfast at home then a couple slices of pear and two cups of tea. And then I magically arrived at the train station with just enough time to dive onto the train.

I could eat a lollipop I keep in my backpack for sugar crash emergencies… this, too, is procrastination.

Let’s get to the point, eh?

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