Yes, I’ll Call The Doctor Tomorrow

TRIGGER WARNING

This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

The doorbell rang.

It was a solicitor. Asking for funds for albino children in Zimbabwe.

And when I pointed out how we didn’t have extra funds until the fall when our oldest goes to school, he wanted to say, “Just two things.”

One, albino children considered magical so they are hunted down and their bones are sold on the black market as medicine like rhino horns.

And two, and this is the thing that got me – that made me say, “Fuck it, I’ve got to help.” two is that since they’re magical, sex with them imbues others with strength and the younger the child, the stronger the strength.

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I’m Obviously Stressed About Something

But I don’t know what it is.

Helpful, aren’t I?

Whenever I’m feeling stressed or anxious or depressed, there are signs. Lately I’ve been sitting on my ass doing NOTHING except watching television and / or eating. At night I chew my tongue so hard that the pain wakes me up. I also have nightmares.

And it’s IMPOSSIBLE to focus.

Now, some of this is understandable.

The site was just hacked. I’m rebuilding it with help (thanks, J!) and it’s coming back together well. I’m even thinking of switching to self hosting cause it looks entirely manageable.

I have six month old twins. In case you forgot. Cause I didn’t forget. Plus the toddler. All three are awesomeness, of course, but DAYUM, das a lot of minions.

But some of it is not as obvious because I haven’t really mentioned it before…

Like….

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Wait Weight Don’t Tell Me

There are more than a few reasons why I haven’t been posting on here, most importantly, really, is #TWINS.

Obviously.

And the other thing is that I got out of the habit.

Also, obviously.

But less obviously is that I’ve been recovering from All The Complications ™ and one of the things that happened is that I lost a shit ton of weight really fast. And how are you supposed to talk about that?

“Oh, hey, I just had twins, but look, I’m totally back in my pre-first-pregnancy clothes, but poor me, I’m so so skinny.”

Erm…

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Adventures In Pregnancy: The Pea Pods

Still disturbed by the edibles.

Apparently they’re approximately the length of a pea pod at thirteen weeks.

Plus we received more information and I COMPLETELY LOST MY MIND.

There was howling. There was vomiting. There was much snot.

And there was a difficult talk between P and I that Really Needed To Happen ™ and based on how much better I felt the next day, I needed that crying vomitous release and / or that difficult talk.

I still feel Really Intense. Terrified. Worried. But Better.

Okay, so getting specific.

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