How Was The Appointment?

TRIGGER WARNING

This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

Doctor visit went fine.

I was trying to speak in Dutch cause I didn’t want to have the English / Dutch talk again.

The talk where I explain in Dutch that I’m going to talk in English because I don’t want to misunderstand because this is particularly important to me. I just spoke in Dutch right away because I didn’t want to start crying even before I got to the point.

Besides, speaking in Dutch makes me think.

Really FOCUS.

On the words.

On the translations.

And then I didn’t know the word.

I said, “wat is de werd voor ‘triggers’?”

Continue reading “How Was The Appointment?”

Yes, I Finally Called The Doctor

TRIGGER WARNING

This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

I have an appointment for tomorrow morning at 0830.

But, also, I need to go pick up the prescription refill.

One of the things, one of the PROBLEMS, with moving and living in another country where you don’t know the language / customs / steps to get something done, it makes simple things that you used to do WITHOUT THINKING – it makes those things fucking hard.

For example, picking up a prescription refill.

Now that we live in a new town, I have a new doctor and a new pharmacy and since it’s a much much smaller town where everything is in Dutch, it means things are HARDER.

And when you’re struggling with mental illness, THINGS ARE ALREADY HARDER.

#FRAK

Continue reading “Yes, I Finally Called The Doctor”

Yes, I’ll Call The Doctor Tomorrow

TRIGGER WARNING

This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

The doorbell rang.

It was a solicitor. Asking for funds for albino children in Zimbabwe.

And when I pointed out how we didn’t have extra funds until the fall when our oldest goes to school, he wanted to say, “Just two things.”

One, albino children considered magical so they are hunted down and their bones are sold on the black market as medicine like rhino horns.

And two, and this is the thing that got me – that made me say, “Fuck it, I’ve got to help.” two is that since they’re magical, sex with them imbues others with strength and the younger the child, the stronger the strength.

Continue reading “Yes, I’ll Call The Doctor Tomorrow”

I’m Obviously Stressed About Something

But I don’t know what it is.

Helpful, aren’t I?

Whenever I’m feeling stressed or anxious or depressed, there are signs. Lately I’ve been sitting on my ass doing NOTHING except watching television and / or eating. At night I chew my tongue so hard that the pain wakes me up. I also have nightmares.

And it’s IMPOSSIBLE to focus.

Now, some of this is understandable.

The site was just hacked. I’m rebuilding it with help (thanks, J!) and it’s coming back together well. I’m even thinking of switching to self hosting cause it looks entirely manageable.

I have six month old twins. In case you forgot. Cause I didn’t forget. Plus the toddler. All three are awesomeness, of course, but DAYUM, das a lot of minions.

But some of it is not as obvious because I haven’t really mentioned it before…

Like….

Continue reading “I’m Obviously Stressed About Something”