[trigger warning] I am Emily Doe

13413145_10102277879218831_2805973173930222569_nTRIGGER WARNING This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

Yesterday I made it to the doctor and had a conversation about why I need a referral to PsyQ. The last time I needed a referral, it was to the crisisdienst and I didn’t make it clear enough (I was being American, I didn’t realize communication was difficult) that the situation was dire.

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I Made That Appointment Yesterday

photo-1442907044574-69bc14dd88e0In the Netherlands, you can’t just go to the hospital emergency room if you have an emergency.

Trust me, I’ve tried.

You’re supposed to call the 24/7 (weekend / evenings) huisarts (general practitioner’s) phone number and they determine if you should come into see them or go straight to the hospital and whether or not to send an ambulance to get you or if it’s fine if you just bike over.

And if they decide they can’t handle it, then they’ll send you to the hospital emergency room.

We found this out when I was two months pregnant and I woke up at three in the morning with my bottom lip, one ear lobe, and one eye swollen shut with hives cause I was allergic to pregnancy.

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Jetlag is HARSH

photo-1459262838948-3e2de6c1ec80Especially when you get your son to fall asleep on the plane, but you’re paranoid about anything happening to him so you stay awake, watching some amazing shows (HUMANS!) and movies (ZOOTROPOLIS!) and you and your family are so exhausted when you land that you ALL THREE FALL ASLEEP ON THE TRAIN RIDE HOME.

Yeah, that’s right.

Snoozing family.

On the train.

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oh, HELLO.

photo-1455692983146-bb54a19f71e0Last night I said good bye to my bestest friend, my zusje, my soulmate – and she flew back home to Atlanta.

Cause work.

And now I just wanna sleep all the time and not eat and have negative thoughts.

But I knew something like this was happening, so these are the steps I took to lessen the blow.

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Cheat to Win

cake-727854_960_720Okay, so let’s catch up.

A recap. Review. Restatement of facts. Redundantly. Repeatedly. Again.

  • Stay up late talking – SO MUCH TO CATCH UP ON.
  • Visit friends and family and eat amazing food and drink ALL THE WINE.
  • Eat cake. Lots and lots of cake.
  • Go to Ariel Stretch class together cause torture is good for the soul.
  • Do an escape room cause DUH. Hopefully we get out. Hopefully we don’t kill each other in the process. Hopefully our friendship survives.
  • Do something spa like. Probably a massage. Cause MASSAGE.
  • Cracker Barrel. Cause tradition. And pancakes. Real American Pancakes. With all the butter.

Those were the goals, but what have we done so far?

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And I Love Me Some Breakfast

photo-1418308050932-c56fa6e5b767A friend reached out in response to yesterday’s post On Life – specifically in response to the section about vacations:

Vacations with toddlers are not vacations.

They pointed out the lack of routines and extra sugar and new experiences completely resonated with ‘not relaxing’.



You go on vacation. And I love me some vacation. Some quiet time on the beach without that thing.. oh, what is that thing called… other people. Without other people. And a good book. And lots and lots of sunscreen. I could fall asleep for hours and take a dip or two in the ocean and read and sleep some more and get incredibly burned and be utterly content with it all.

But that’s not vacation.

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