mental illness – Groningen Rain

29 July 2020

Dutch Lock Down Day One Hundred Thirty Six

[Taking Time After A Rough Day]

Yesterday was a bit rough and I can tell that I’m in recovery mode today as I slept in past my alarm clock and I’m LITERALLY moving slower.

And that’s totally okay.

But first the news:

It’s a little fuzzier to think, too, but I’m taking it all in stride. This is what depression and emotional instability are like – it’s rough in the middle of it and it’s slower in recovery mode, but I will heal and stabilise over time.

28 July 2020

Dutch Lock Down Day One Hundred Thirty Five

[Today Was Kinda Rough]

It started with a call from IT.

I couldn’t reset my laptop password. I mean, I could in recovery mode, but it would be overwritten once the operating system loaded. Or something loaded.

I hacked on it until I figured out that it was resetting the local password to match the Active Directory password which is SUPER creepy, but I guess that makes it easier to ~~monitor my system~~ help me when something’s wrong.

Awesome.

But first the news:

The good news is that not only was the root cause discovered, but it was ‘resolved’ in that it’s a feature, not a bug; I wrote it up so it’s ACTUALLY DOCUMENTED and moved on.

Because, really, once I know the root cause, I am chill.

Sort of.

6 July 2020

Dutch Lock Down Day One Hundred Thirteen

[You Jumped Off The Sign And Landed On Your Face]

I’m watching Spiderman: Homecoming, in case you don’t know the $TITLE reference.

That particular line is delivered shortly after some physical humour that is MY JAM.

But first the news:

Physical comedy makes me laugh like no other.

Would you like to know more?

5 July 2020

Dutch Lock Down Day One Hundred Twelve

[I Am Enough]

I know it’s cheesy.

But it helps.

But first the news:

I saw this ring for sale weeks ago “I Am Enough” on etsy or wish or somewhere and it so totally and completely resonated with me. I suppose I must’ve been feeling particularly confident. Or sassy.

Or something.

4 July 2020

Dutch Lock Down Day One Hundred Eleven

[I Forgot To Mention The Dizziness]

Yesterday, I mean.

There have been periods of dizziness with me throughout my life – it comes with the low blood pressure.

But the other day I was walking and my blood sugar dropped so fast that I literally swooned. I limped over to a bench and stayed there for a bit, breathing gently to make a plan. Eventually I dragged myself to the gas station (it was closer than going home), bought a chocolate milk AND a large peanut butter candy bar, inhaled both and was able to walk home over ten minutes.

Over those ten minutes, as the sugar hit, I went from walking VERY slowly to strolling a bit.

So that happened.

But first the news:

After I published yesterday, a friend coincidentally reached out to sell me some diet products and I totally jumped. In three weeks or so a detox arrives. But also I ordered the protein powder that I haven’t bought in ten forevers.

And then.