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Navigating the Rush Hour

Back in the States, ‘rush hour’ refers to one of my favourite Jackie Chan movies as well as the hell that is a morning and evening commute to and from work made only slightly less miserable by the sweet soothing sounds of NPR while here in the Netherlands, rush hour TRAFFIC is so lame that you’re never actually STOPPED on the highway AT ALL.

Even if there’s a giant flaming bus by the side of the road and all cars are diverted to side roads.

Strangely specific example is strangely specific.

And also?

Los Angeles California and Atlanta Georgia COMPETE for Worse Traffic In The States and not only did I used to live and WORK in Atlanta, but I once had to change a flat tire on a Dodge Dakota Club Cab on the bottom highway of Spaghetti Junction DURING RUSH HOUR.

But in the Netherlands?

Rush hour ALSO refers to the chaos of the morning and the evening that exists when One Has Children.

And YESSSSS it is Exactly That Bad.

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Who Publishes On Wednesdays, I Mean Come On

Ideally this posts are written in batches and then scheduled to be published at future dates and times but I’m SO NOT THERE YET.

Also?

Don’t try to write while also letting the television play if you’re Rain Leander cause you’ll be CONSTANTLY DISTRACTED. I mean, some people can do it?

But not I.

Focus, Leander.

…
..
.

But the reboot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch is SO GOOD.

#AMIRITE

/me pauses the show so that she can write…

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Fighting Acedia: Developing Mental Resilience

TRIGGER WARNING This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

In the midst of recovery, I bought entirely too many books for self help, distraction, and work.

And along the way, I read a lot of Medium and ThoughtCatalog and in those meanderings I came across the Freakonomics Peak Project which is basically about becoming GREAT at something.

I joined.

Because I want to become GREAT at mental resilience.

I know.

Odd, right?

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Big Breath In Big Breath Out

TRIGGER WARNING This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

Needless to say, life is a bit rough right now.

There’s a lot going on.

But.

I’m trying to focus.

To take things one day at a time and just keep swimming. Baby steps.

Last night P and I both had horrible nights. When the alarm went off – let me take a minute to explicitly state that the alarm was not my normal alarm clock, but the Littles having an animated discussion over the pros and cons of solid food versus formula – when THAT alarm went off, I groaned and asked P if he could help out this morning and he replied that he didn’t get to sleep until sometime south of four in the morning.

Ew.

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Silence Is Golden

Except when it’s not.

TRIGGER WARNING This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

Saturday night I went to a party.

I haven’t been to a party in… forever? Ten forevers? It’s been a while.

And I drank a bit. And I talked with people. And I’d say pretty much NO ONE knew that I’m sick.

And so when I started to get triggered. And triggered. And triggered.

I tried to act cool. Stay calm.

I just kept leaving conversations and finding somewhere else to hang out.

But then the whole party started playing this game, (DRUNK) Table Topics. And the questions themselves were triggering. So when this kid near me, who is not a Toastmaster and has no idea about quietly letting the speaker have the floor, started speaking with me about my twins, I broke all semblance of respect for the speaker or the game and focused only on that conversation.

And when others were trying to shush me, I asked him to join me in the hallway to continue our talk.

So we did.

And I ended up going home around midnight, well later than planned. I slept in. The rest of the weekend was navigating the awesomeness of a hangover plus toddler plus twins plus life.

I thought I was relatively fine.

And then Monday happened.

I got up with the Littles. Got them off to daycare. Normal morning routine.

Nothing to indicate anything was off.

But.

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