I’m Oke. Tired But Oke.

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Nineteen]

I’m stable, but lashing out.

Not ideal, but getting there.

I’m oke.

But first the news:

It feels good to report a solid step forward.

Continue reading “I’m Oke. Tired But Oke.”

To Make Room For Coping

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Fourteen]

I slept in a bit. Meditated. Edited the presentation for the hackathon. Danced a bit. Cuddled a bit. Ate a protein shake. And drank lots of water.

It’s a gentle kind of day.

But first the news:

And now I’m going for a walk not because I want to because holy hell it’s cold outside and I hate that shite, but because I NEED to because otherwise it’ll get as dark inside as it already is outside.

Continue reading “To Make Room For Coping”

Holy Hell, Today

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Thirteen]

I submitted a code for Equinix’s virtual hackathon. And spoke at Fedora Women’s Day about being non-binary and talking about mental health and my Fedora story. And then I streamed a new escape room game.

It’s time for bed.

But first the news:



Continue reading “Holy Hell, Today”

In Case Of Emergency, Break Glass

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Eleven]

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

I cannot thank you enough for reaching out with your words of support.

I wasn’t so much standing near the edge as sitting on it – very much NOT wanting to be there.

Your words were like, “Get up. Stand up. Come on put your hands up.

But first the news:

YEARS ago I wrote down my coping strategies for suicidal thoughts privately in a notebook somewhere. They were more about comfort and touch therapy – cuddling the cat, taking a shower and such.

To be clear, I wasn’t having suicidal thoughts over the last week, but that post was very much a cry for help.

But, just in case I need it, I’ve written down my coping strategies for shitty days.

Let me know if you have others for yourself and if it helps someone, I’d love to hear about it.

Continue reading “In Case Of Emergency, Break Glass”