One standard cube of salted butter
Two normal tubes of phadelphia cream cheese
Four tubes of powdered sugar
One jar of cocoa powder
Use a mixer. Whip that butter until it changes shades. Whip it good. Mix in the cream cheese. Don’t panic when the whippedness of the butter completely disappears and the texture totally becomes this weird gloppy hot mess. DON’T PANIC
Add a tube of powdered sugar.
PUT THE MIXER ON THE LOWEST SETTING. Until most of the powdered sugar is slightly combined, then whip it. Whip it REAL GOOD. Repeat with tubes two through four.
Taste that shit.
Is it not the best butter cream cheese icing you’ve ever eaten in your entire life?!?
Then mix in the entire jar of cocoa powder. Again, PUT THE MIXER ON THE LOWEST SETTING UNTIL THE POWDER IS LIGHTLY COMBINED. Then switch to the higher settings to whip it. You must whip it.
Spread on everything or just eat it with a spoon. Store it in the fridge if you can resist eating the entire bowl.