When choosing to respond to events, both negative or positive, because, yes, it’s a choice – we are not animals driven by instinct, but people with intellect and experience and #CHOICES – when that moment comes, you have infinite choices.
Perhaps, yes, you can let emotions drive, resulting in variable reactions and while, yes, I have no idea where this is coming from, maybe I’m reading too much of a particularly verbose author who writes with the long words and says not much at all.
I recently had some bad news.
And I could’ve let it drive me down. It hurt. It was heartbreaking, really, from one of the sources, that I well and truly would’ve LOVED to work for and with – yes, I’m talking about interviews and opportunities and new horizons – but it wasn’t meant to be.
We’ve opted to go in another direction.
And once that bad news arrived (TWICE within a #VeryShortTime) I was hurt and wallowed a bit, I’ll admit – let the sadness and the pain and the rejection sink in and percolate for a while.
Except it’s not a rejection.
I didn’t send them a note with check yes, no or maybe. I didn’t ask them on a date.
And they didn’t check no with a frowny face and a never speak to me again. As a matter of fact, one of the companies specifically said it wasn’t a good fit for that one opportunity, but they want to speak with me about #AnotherThingThatMightFitBetter
Which is nice.
My point, though, is that after I gave myself permission to wallow, I got over it. I let it go.
And this is the important bit.
THEN I used it as MOTIVATION.
Cause there’s nothing that motivates me better than when someone tells me I can’t do something. Or that I’m not good enough. Or that I don’t measure up.
I tried to write a speech about this a few years ago – about the strength of stubbornness. That sometimes stubborn is another word for persistence.
Sure, this didn’t work out. Twice. But it will eventually. Maybe with Red Hat.
Maybe with someone else.
But, more importantly, I received feedback as to why I wasn’t their first choice – that I wasn’t technical enough. And while I agree in some ways, I disagree in others and I could do some things to make my portfolio stronger, my technical interview more graceful, and my delivery more impactful.
How would you react to negative input? How do you react when you don’t get the job? What other options are available?
Infinite possibilities, sure, but what resonates for you?