What Is Tonight? The Edge Of Tomorrow

packing today felt like a marathon.

whereas previously, i simply thought, what do i need? and what does the AI need?

and packed it.

this time i kept getting lost in distractions.

cause we also prepped the house for a sitter. and neighbors with a baby who might spend the night while their house is painted.

which meant that every bed in the house, including AI’s needed to be clean after his nap. and every diaper and trash can emptied.

and, oh, yes, the cat.

the added pressure of having friends, dear friends who would so totally never judge me, but internal pressure of what if they have friends over who will so totally judge me, stay at our house while we’re gone, was figuratively paralyzing SEVERAL times throughout the course of the day.

and we totally forgot two bottles of milk.

one for tonight. one for tomorrow morning.

but more importantly, the bottles themselves, which AI still uses for his pre- post-sleeping rituals. totally forgot them in the fridge.

all the dishes in the dishwasher are clean. and there is not a single piece of laundry in the washer or dryer. and most of the dirty clothes in the house are either towels or sheets or duvets and AI’s last nap pajamas.

when we return home in six weeks, i have no sugar for tea. or, doubtfully, milk. but i do have a bread machine. and all kinds of other electronics for making all kinds of comforting things.

but, most importantly, a kettle for making hot hot water. and a little grocery store nearby where i can grab my favorite sugar for making cups of tea.

in the meantime, pontus and the AI are giving me thirty minutes for my evening ritual where i write three pages of stream of consciousness style writing and ten ish minutes for exercise and twenty minutes for yin yoga and brushing and flossing teeth.

and then i’ll be ready to help AI fall asleep in a massive king size bed that we’re all sharing at citizen m except pontus is going to go downstairs to unwind just a bit because he actually got up with the AI this morning and let me sleep in so he gets to use the free drink voucher that we received because we come to citizen m SO MUCH that they treat us like royalty.

by giving us a single adult beverage even though both of us individually visit this hotel entirely too much.

cause when your flight is leaving in the morning and you live over two hours away by train and sometimes the train just doesn’t run, you spend the night to ensure Nothing Goes Wrong In The Night.

Just In Case.

good night netherlands.

this is our last night here for six weeks and i’ll miss you something fierce.

i’m particularly going to miss biking. and spas. and being outside and walking so much. and having to wear a hat and gloves all the time cause Outside. and i’ll miss the weather even tho i complain all the time.

and the rain.


i won’t miss biking in the rain. or when it mists on my glasses. or the cold plus the rain plus the hurricane strength wind storms. and even though i’m sure i’ll be sick of driving by day two, i do miss driving when i haven’t done it in ten forevers.


i’m looking forward to mexican. and pancakes for lunch. and american style chinese. and nosh.

and holy fuck bbq.

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