Dear Future Self

[Dutch Lock Down Day Five Hundred Fifty Eight]


You just signed up for a ONE YEAR gym membership in America that costs SIX TIMES MORE each month than your gym membership in the Netherlands.




This will either mean incredible motivation to get your happy butt to the gym each day – even if it’s just to do thirty minutes of cardio – or overwhelm you to never go again and finally cancel after a year.

Which, FYI, is 28 September 2022.

Probably a combination of both, depending on your mental health and stress levels.

But, listen, let’s try to tip that more towards the motivation than the debilitating guilt, eh?

We can do this.

Trust me.

Present Self

Sure, This Is The Bike Capital Of The World, But

[Dutch Lock Down Day Three Hundred Ninety Three]

What if I just don’t wanna?

Also, my titles have gotten rather sloppy lately, hrm?

I personally own two or three bikes – a ‘grandma’ bike, a foldable bike for work train trips, and a ‘bakfiets’ for hauling two or more minions around town. I say two or three because the bakfiets is more part of the family than MINE.

Our FAMILY of FIVE owns ELEVEN bikes.


But first the news:

The thing is, biking is not ideal if, say, you’re pregnant and your hips, in their infinite wisdom, separate and decide one side should be higher than the other.

Which is what happened with me.

Six years ago.

When I was pregnant with First Minion.

Continue reading “Sure, This Is The Bike Capital Of The World, But”

Get Thee To Bed, Leander

[Dutch Lock Down Day Three Hundred Seventy]

Photo by Cris Saur on Unsplash

One of the habits that I well and truly miss that has gone the way of all flesh is getting up around five in the morning.

It fell away at some point when one of the kids was sick or I was stressed or some other perfectly valid excuse, but just hasn’t returned.

There’s always a Really Good Reason ™ but I also truly LOVE the quiet morning time.

When I get to code.

And read.

And think.

And get started MY way.

But first the news:

I really started yearning for this habit again when I was laid off two weeks ago but, again, there’ve been EXCELLENT reasons to ignore the urge – Girl Twin was sick.

Then I was sick.

Fair enough.

Continue reading “Get Thee To Bed, Leander”

On The First Day of Vacation, My True Love Gave to Me

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Seventy Four]

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

A super decadent chocolate brownie with cream cheese icing.


I’m on vacation until 04 January, so this whole Twelve Days of Christmas theme won’t last, but it’s on my mind Right Now as Boy Twin fusses from his room, resisting this whole sleep thing because he slept for extra long this afternoon so Fuck This Shit.

Agreed, Little Buddy.

Fuck. This. Shit.

But first the news:

Especially if you’ve slept for three whole hours in the afternoon.

Fuck all this shit right to hell.

Continue reading “On The First Day of Vacation, My True Love Gave to Me”

Now Where Is My Turkey?

[Dutch Lock Down Day Two Hundred Fifty Two]

Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

Thanksgiving is a national holiday celebrated on various dates in the United States, Canada, Brazil, Grenada, Saint Lucia, and Liberia, and the sub-national entities LeidenNorfolk Island, and the inhabited territories of the United States. It began as a day of giving thanks and sacrifice for the blessing of the harvest and of the preceding year.

This year it’s celebrated today in the United States and Brazil and as a nod to it, I’m giving thanks for a few things today.

But first the news:

I do humbly give thanks for my patient, beautiful, supportive partner who listens to my troubles and encourages my experiments. And I’m so thankful for our three amazing minions who show us the beauty in patience and bring new definition to both literal and figurative support.

I am thankful for chocolate. Especially fancy bon bons from local chocolate / coffee / wine stores. In little boxes. With little bows. And tiny calories. If you eat them with your eyes shut.

I am so very thankful for effective hormone therapy, finally stabilising riotous and horrid perimenopause, bringing serenity and peace to my poor addled brain.

I am thankful for Dr. Kristin Neff who wrote Self Compassion, an extraordinary book that offers exercises and action plans for dealing with every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living.  

Continue reading “Now Where Is My Turkey?”