Happy Trans Day of Visibility!! !

[Dutch Lock Down Day Three Hundred Seventy Seven]

Tell your favourite trans people you see them.

We love that.

In the interest of full disclosure, yes, I identify as a bi-sexual non-binary trans feminine queer person; my pronouns are they / them.

I’m trans.

See me.

But first the news:

Today is International Transgender Day of Visibility – an annual event occurring on March 31[1][2] dedicated to celebrating transgender people and raising awareness of discrimination faced by transgender people worldwide, as well as a celebration of their contributions to society. The day was founded by US-based transgender activist[3] Rachel Crandall of Michigan in 2009[4] as a reaction to the lack of LGBT recognition of transgender people, citing the frustration that the only well-known transgender-centered day was the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which mourned the murders of transgender people, but did not acknowledge and celebrate living members of the transgender community.


To celebrate, I joined Equinix’s internal Trans Day of Visibility celebration to speak on a panel and answer a few questions.

And then there were time changes.

And confusion.

And I couldn’t participate.

So I cried.

And cried.

And cried.

And then pulled myself together and picked up the kids and fed them supper and ate some food and drank soda and self cared and got the twins into bed and self cared and got First Minion into bed and now I’m doing oke.

These past three weeks have been incredibly intense.

And I haven’t let up in the least.

So when something mildly disappointing happens, even as gentle as a perceived rejection or social slight, it’s more upsetting than “normal”. Thankfully, I know how to take care of myself and I AM taking care of myself and taking care of kids sometimes helps a bit.

Picking up at the end of their day, for example, they are SO HAPPY to see me.

To come home.

Which is absolutely wonderful.

So I’m going to go to bed now and hopefully process this lightly and put it away until I’m solidly under employment again and can unpack these things with time and compassion.

And visibility.

Continue reading “Happy Trans Day of Visibility!! !”

Were You Born That Way?

[Dutch Lock Down Day Three Hundred Forty]

Deborah Siegel, gender scholar and mother of boy/girl twins, brings to life key research about the gendering of childhood in the earliest years of life.

Taking us through a personal journey peppered with blunders and epiphanies, she challenges us to move beyond pink and blue and learn something new about gender from society’s smallest experts: our kids.

But first the news:

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.

Deborah wants us to remember to:

  1. Embrace the purple.
  2. With great power comes great responsibility.
  3. Small change brings big change.
Continue reading “Were You Born That Way?”

If You Build It, They Will Come

[Dutch Lock Down Day Three Hundred Thirty Six]

Photo by Jiroe on Unsplash

True to my word, I set up an open source repository, an awesome list of nonbinary resources yesterday morning.


Throughout the day yesterday and today I added the resources I could personally vouch for and, although, there are some blogs / facebook pages which are officially closed down, the data is still relevant, so I still included them.

And I’m kinda proud of it, if I do say so myself.

But first the news:

“Curated”: the contribution / link / book / quote / collaboration has been personal reviewed by the maintainer or contributor

“Awesome”: helpful / inspirational / informative / educational

Continue reading “If You Build It, They Will Come”

If It Doesn’t Exist, Build It

[Dutch Lock Down Day Three Hundred Thirty Five]

I mentioned this briefly in the video I did for The Gender Tag Project – that I went looking for resources for nonbinary people – especially around education / support / close friends – and couldn’t find much.

Therefore, I’m going to compile an awesome list of nonbinary resources.

And, because it’s how I roll, I’m going to start it live on my open source stream.

But first the news:

An awesome list is a list of awesome things curated by the community. There are awesome lists about everything from CLI applications to fantasy books.

The main repository serves as a curated list of awesome lists.

Continue reading “If It Doesn’t Exist, Build It”

And Now We’re Healing

[Dutch Lock Down Day Three Hundred Thirty One]

I had a massive misunderstanding with a close friend.

Around being nonbinary.

Around using the they / them pronouns.

And we didn’t listen to one another for days.

And then we finally did.

But first the news:

We shouted.
We said things we both regret.
We told the truth.
We fought.
We pushed back.
We lashed out.

And then we listened.

And now we’re healing.


Continue reading “And Now We’re Healing”